Photo Credit: @joanameurkens
Hi! I'm Carolina. I’m a writer and musician living in D.C. I write about relationships/ vulnerability, intersectional identity, and immigration. I perform around D.C as a Jazz/ Brazilian music vocalist. I’m also an art educator and event organizer with the non-profit I co-founded called An Indivisible Art Collective. Collaborations are my favorite thing about being a multi-faceted creative. My work is very much connected to my cultural identity and upbringing. I’m originally from New York City. I was born on the Upper West Side right by Central Park and moved to New Jersey when I was 8. My family moved back into the city when I was 12 and bought the apartment my parents still live in on East 79th street. Although I’ve been living in D.C for four years, being a New Yorker is very much the essence of who I am. The city exposes you to so much diversity and culture. Growing up, my sister and I would spend summers with my mom’s side of the family in Brazil and Christmas with my dad’s family in Germany. My understanding of self is intersectional and transnational by nature of how I was raised.
I’m Afro-Brazilian and German. Growing up, I was always seen as a black girl. I struggled with this as a kid because I hated feeling othered. Most of my friends were white. I didn’t know a lot of other mixed kids, let alone other black kids. Coming into my own as a young adult in D.C, which is historically an African American city, has been an opportunity to connect with the Afro-descendant side of my heritage that I didn’t have access to growing up. There is so much power in connecting to the global African Diaspora. To me, it’s an opportunity to reclaim the cultural knowledge that was taken away from afro-descendants across the Americas. This inspires a lot of my writing and music.
My daily routine has been totally switched up during quarantine. When I was commuting to work, I would snooze in. After getting out of bed I’d put on some tunes (usually Bossa Nova or something vibey of the sorts) while I showered and got ready. Then I’d moisturize, sometimes put on minimal foundation and mascara and run out to the metro. These days, my mornings are about slowing down and setting a tone for the day. Before I turn on my laptop and get to work, I like to take my time making a pour over. Sometimes I journal or stretch. I've been making these delicious green juices made up of fresh ginger, oranges, apples, spinach, celery, and cayenne pepper. Although being home all day has its ups and downs, I'm thankful for the down time to tune in and build new wellness habits.
I'm a very minimalist person when it comes to health/ beauty products. I’m a fan of coconut oil to hydrate my skin and hair. My sister works for glossier and hooks me up with all the products. My favorites are the priming moisturizer face cream and the futuredew. I’ll put on lip stick and stretch concealer before leaving the house. When I go out with friends I’ll put on eyeliner and mascara, but other than that I don’t wear too much make up. I think it’s because I spent my teen years with foundation and heavy eyeliner on at all times.
I find out about new beauty/ wellness products on social media. Instagram and Youtube are great platforms for following women who look like you. My feed is a mix of black and brown women and plus size models who I can relate to. It’s amazing to see influencers beyond thin privileged white women.
I've grown to really love my hair over the last few years. Growing up, I resented the kinks and curls. Coming from Brazilian culture where hair is a battleground, choosing to wear natural hair and move away from relaxers and keratin treatments was a long but rewarding journey. No one in my family told me I had to relax my hair, but there was this subconscious expectation to assimilate your appearance to reflect white beauty standards. The last time I relaxed my hair was in 2015. I remember feeling so anxious about the chemical fumes I was ingesting. It just didn’t feel right anymore. The in between growth period was awkward, but the more I surrounded myself with black women, the more I loved the hair that grew out of my head.
If I could create the perfect beauty/wellness product for myself, it would be definitely be a leave in hair product that leaves my hair moisturized and shiny, without the product build up.
Photo Credit: @joanameurkens
As an artist, I’m always thinking about how people perceive me in real life and on social media. I strive for authenticity, which affects my beauty and lifestyle routines. I like to wear clothes that make me feel confident, sexy, and the best me. As women we’re often told we have to present ourselves in a certain way to be taken seriously. I’m so happy to see that those social norms are fading out of relevance and women of all backgrounds are embracing their core essence.
As a plus size girl who struggles with body dysmorphia, I’ve been working on shifting my relationship with food and weight. I try to consume foods that taste good, make me feel good, and are sustainable to the local environment. My partner is really passionate about food sustainability, so we mostly buy from local food vendors and farmer’s markets. Yoga and movement are really important to me as well. I struggle with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and have noticed the immediate impact that exercise has on my mental and physical health. I really enjoy weight-lifting because it makes me feel so strong and capable!
My ethnic/ cultural background affects every part of my life, including my work as an artist and the way I present myself. There were a lot of “rules” regarding modesty that I was taught growing up that I don’t subscribe to anymore. It was ingrained in me that showing your body as a woman, especially a thicker woman would make you lose all respect with your family, colleagues, friends, etc. I was a shy girl that grew into an outspoken woman and I think my family, especially my mother, still struggle to understand where I’m coming from. I don’t mean any disrespect with the way I present myself or for speaking out on the things I believe in, but it’s unfortunately taken that way. I’m very proud of where I come from, the body I inhabit, and the woman I’m becoming. I hope to positively impact other women to be able to do the same.
Photo Credit: @joanameurkens